Intro: [00:00:00] Welcome to the Jenna Brown Show. I am Jenna Brown, psychic business strategist, wealth Energetics mentor and subconscious healing expert. The guide for women who are scaling to 6, 7, 8 figures in their business and who are done playing small with their power, their money, and their visibility, who have a deep inner belief that they get to have it all.
This is a space where strategy meets the subconscious where money becomes clean and where you learn how to expand your field of influence without burning yourself out or betraying yourself. Contrary to popular opinion, we talk about wealth, leadership, identity energetics, and what it takes to actually hold the type of money, the type of business and reality that you are calling in.
Clients cash, impact, desire. We talk about it all here. If you're ready to move beyond the hustle, beyond the proving and into overflow, that feels grounded, embodied, and [00:01:00] sustainable. You, my friends, are in the right place. Let's begin.
Hi everyone. Welcome back to the Jenna Brown Show. I hope that you liked our episode from last week. part one on Let Him Lead. You may not know this about me, but I almost didn't publish that episode. So I recorded this episode a couple of weeks ago and I immediately just felt really vulnerable and I did caveat this in the beginning of that episode that I'm so cognizant of protecting my relationship and like I always say, my kids didn't sign up to be a personal brand.
My husband didn't sign up to be a personal brand. My parents didn't sign up to be a personal brand. So I try to . Think of those things before I create episodes. Anyways, so in my mind I just was like, oh, that was a little vulnerable. I recorded that episode probably three weeks ago and I told my team, we're not publishing it.
I was like, nevermind, I can't publish it. And then today I [00:02:00] went and sat down to think about. What do I want this next podcast episode to be about? And something just nudged me to go listen to part one. And I did. And I was like, oh, hot damn, I have to publish that. It was so good. It was so good. There are so many nuggets inside of that episode.
If you just go back and listen to it. I'm like, dude, and I had to publish it because one, I think it will support a lot of women who are in similar situations and two. I even mentioned this on the podcast episode that I'm like, I looked for this type of wisdom and talk in like realness for years and never could find it.
All I could ever find women saying who were quote unquote breadwinners in their relationships was that they loved it and that they felt so supported by their husbands because they were like essentially house managers, or they felt their husband was like doing his own thing. Or they might be successful, but they're not actually breadwinners, meaning like their husband is [00:03:00] still doing all of the financial ownership, if that makes sense.
And yeah, that's all I could find. And so for a lot of like really successful women, I would just be like, I wonder what their marriage is like. And then of course they would come out and they would say, yeah, actually we've like almost got divorced in the last two years because of how hard everything was.
But they don't elaborate on what was hard about it, like what was hard in this relationship because I think it's just so nuanced and we've never, ever lived in a time. Where women can make as much money as we do by working so much less than we ever have. And through being a personal brand, there's just so much nuance to what we're experiencing really for the first time, especially within this industry, the coaching industry.
It's just wild. So anyways, part two, thank you for listening to part one. I hope you loved it. I would love to hear your reflections and feedback. Feel free to DM me over on Instagram. But part two, [00:04:00] I wanna break down a little bit more in depth some of these lessons because I just like casually drop like literal fucking bombs in that other episode.
I'm just like, la la, la. This was my victim pocket and la la la and there's so much to unpack there of how I even got there in the first place. Like how I realized that this is the subconscious programming that was running the show. And what are those energetic shifts? A lot of times for me, especially if you are like when I'm mentoring you, if you've been plateaued somewhere for longer than a year, I can guarantee you there's a part of you that's preserving something, right?
We are only afraid of the next level, whatever that is for you. Because what we fear we're going to lose in the process of getting that next level because we fear how heavy that next level might be. And because we are like used to the essentially stress dynamic of what we're experiencing [00:05:00] already. I wanna go into these lessons and really break them down for you.
first and foremost, I talk about this in this other episode, but like success really can be a very socially accepted victim identity, especially for women. And I know I said this on the last episode, but it's so true that it's the same with motherhood. moms can work so hard to be moms and then use that as their victim pocket, and it just blows me away.
But like I mentioned in that episode and episode one, success can become a little victim pocket for you. Why? Because it essentially feeds into this unconscious martyr system that like all women, I don't care who you are and what age you are right now, the collective. All of us, all women, we are working this out of our system, like hopefully for our daughters and our granddaughters.
But like we are currently this generation of women, we are working this out, meaning like we are like letting [00:06:00] this fizzle out in our real own realities. But we're really the first generation in my, my opinion, to release the martyr narrative. A KAI get to have it all. I get to have it all without sacrifice, but, to make this shift from essentially like being an unconscious martyr and using this alter of success to like consciously choosing power and your sovereignty is a huge shift. And it's like really shows that success doesn't automatically mean you're empowered. Right? I've been in the room with so many successful women.
So many women that I looked up to, so many women that I'm like, oh, damn, they figured it out. And I like get in the room with them and I'm like, oh, you just hustled your way here. Oh, like you didn't actually come from like a empowered stance because you're still complaining.
You still don't think you've made it, you still don't think you're rich enough. You still think that there's so much more to do. You still feel like you're lacking. You still feel like you're not good [00:07:00] enough and that is wild. I can't tell you, especially recently, the amount of situations I've gotten to be in with women who maybe are like in the exact same quote unquote, like financial place as me, but the way that I relate to money is so different and like I just have never been more convinced of this in my whole life.
That success does not necessarily mean that you're empowered. It also doesn't necessarily mean that you are embodied and ultimately like success can be used. To avoid a deeper intimacy, I always say the easiest people, like in my opinion, to become successful are avoidant attached. Meaning, if you've ever heard this, most people who are addicts are avoidant attachment.
Fun fact. Actually don't know if that's actually a fact. Feel free to go fact, check me on that. In my experience when I have worked with people who are have more addictive behaviors, they tend to be avoidant. In attachment, meaning if you don't know much about attachment theory, we have anxious avoidant and anxious [00:08:00] avoidant attachment And anxious is you're, you're like latching on.
So if we use it in the terms of money, anxious, people would be like, oh my God. Like they're thinking about money all day, every single day. I need more, I need more, I need more. I need more, uh, or. they're constantly looking at their bank account. It constantly feels like it's not enough.
Avoidant would be more of I'm a workaholic. I'm so in my work, I don't even look at my bank account. Like avoidant people tend to be the people that are like, I don't even to look at my bank account. Or they like dream of a day where they never have to think about money again. And then anxious avoidant.
I would say that I have been some version of both of that. To be honest but in my experience, a lot of successful entrepreneurs are avoidant, attached because it's safe for them to go create this success because it's essentially success is something that they believe that they can control, right?
I input this effort and I get this result, and that is something I can control. It's an equation, But if we're doing that, if we're creating more success. To avoid deeper [00:09:00] intimacy with ourselves, with others. Hello. You're eventually gonna hit that wall, So anyways, I mentioned this in this episode, right?
Of how success can become a socially acceptable victim identity. And I wanna help you right now, understand if that's something that's like unconsciously ruling the show. So if you can identify with the message that I even said on that podcast where I said, I just felt like no matter what, it's all up to me.
Like our financial future is up to me. Our kids' future is up to me. Everything is up to me. If that resonates with you, I can almost guarantee you that this victim pocket is making itself known inside the dynamic of your success. Okay. Number two, breadwinner dynamics are honestly often subconscious survival roles.
Right? For me, if you hear [00:10:00] me tell the story, I didn't really realize I was becoming the breadwinner consciously. Like I wasn't like, I'm going to become the breadwinner. This is always what I've wanted. It just kind of happened because it made the most logical sense, and then all of a sudden I felt like I was stuck there because I was like, I mean, I told you guys, I was like.
No one can make as much money as me. Like it's all up to me. And like ultimately your you can't outperform your subconscious. It's so wild because I remember when I had my near death experience and I was like laying in bed contemplating the meaning of life for a year. I just remember my mom, she was the most attentive when I was sick. Okay. And I would create illness throughout my life so that my mom would give me attention, and she was like so sweet to me and just loving when I was sick. And then I was like, not me as a grownass adult, literally creating a near death experience where everyone goes, me except my mom, for my mommy to come and take care of me.
Like quite [00:11:00] literally. If anything, with my near death experience, it might've just been about that. It might've just been that I had no fucking clue. Like I had become a mom of three kids and two adopted kids by the age of 30 years old. I had, I had no self-care. I was not taking care of myself at all.
I was trying to save the world. I had this huge nonprofit. I'm trying to serve thousands of people. My whole life was about serving others. I was so depleted. That, like not me being the most dramatic in the room and manifesting a near death experience so that my mommy could take care of me. 'cause like I literally didn't know how to take care of myself.
That's fucking wild. But it's true. I really do think that's probably the main reason why I created that experience, which is nuts. Okay. And notice, just even the way I talk about it, most people when they describe an experience like I had a near death experience, they act like the it has happened to them for me.
Almost everything in my life that you hear me talk about, I'm gonna say I created it. I really do think I created it. I'm creator. How can I think that I'm creating and manifesting a positive existence? If [00:12:00] I'm gonna be at the seat of creator, which is where I want all of you, when you're creating your reality, if I'm gonna be the seat of creator, meaning everything that's happening in my reality, I can shift and change.
I believe that if you're gonna believe that, that you can do that. Positively. Then also like the other side of that coin is you also have to believe the things that you're creating that are happening, quote unquote to you might be you creating them in some other reality or some other form for you to get your needs met, for you to be the victim that you never got to be.
And that's something I think that like successful women don't talk about enough. Like we have created such high levels of success. We, we are such high performers like my. 20% is most people's. A hundred percent. Okay. I'm sure you're probably the same. And we have created that and that's great, but it's also like our pocket of control.
It's also our pocket of no one can take me down off of this pedestal. And when you start to [00:13:00] realize why am I creating these things? Like why would I create this reality? That's when everything starts to shift and change. so breadwinner dynamics, like they're not always conscious a lot of times.
Like you just find yourself there and you're kind of like, well, shit, here I am again. It's all up to me. Which for many highly successful women, that mirrors their childhood experience of like it was all up to them, The other thing too that I wanna pull out. So number three would be that my plateauing income was actually relationship protection. I kind of riffed on this for a second inside of that other podcast episode, but I want to go a little bit deeper into it today because this is something that I see so, so, so, so, so often.
So I always bring this into my trainings, into my teachings, that as women, when we think of cave people, right? Let's think of us like ancestrally speaking. When I think of cave men, okay, cave men are wired to go out and hunt and kill to keep humanity [00:14:00] alive, Cave women, maybe not cave women, but you know, like the first women.
The first women, they are wired to preserve humankind through their fertility and through reproduction. Now, women. Need to, I mean, I guess I don't need to, but like we would like to, I would think biologically be attracted to our mate in order to reproduce. Also, I think in order to stay fertile, fun facts, so we as women.
I've just seen this time and time again. We try to be motivated the same way that men are and we just are not, we're not subconsciously motivated by the same things the same way. So we can get business advice from men and it can really hinder us because they can just be like, just fucking do it.
Just grind. Just do it. But one, if you are a mother or if you want to be a mother. You will always, always, always, always, and I don't even think it's if you wanna be or if you are a mom, I really think it's just a woman because ultimately you are wired subconsciously to preserve your [00:15:00] fertility. Like always.
Because if you think of it this way, like men are wired to go and hunt and kill and dominate because that is how they keep humanity alive. Which is why we have such a like problem with masculinity in our culture because they don't have to do that anymore, right? Anyways, women, that's a whole other episode.
Women are wired to preserve humanity through preserving our fertility, so our body are health. So we like can't ignore health symptoms the same way that men can, or health signals. And then also we can't just be like, let me hustle and grind and ignore our family because it will literally keep like pushing us back whether even if like we get success.
I see it happen all the time. Women will get success and it like gets totally knocked out of the park and like totally kicked aside and nine times outta 10 it's 'cause they're trying to start a family 'cause they have a family. And they're like, what the fuck? This must be some deep subconscious trauma.
It's literally not. So [00:16:00] just biological, your mind, your body, your subconscious the field of women. Consciousness of women is just saying, we don't do it that way, girl. We can't do it that way because we have to preserve the human race. Like I actually feel that very strongly.
We have to preserve the human race if we're gonna do that, we have to preserve our fertility, protect our fertility, and be fertile as long as possible. And also we need to reproduce and we need to support mothers so they actually can reproduce. And then also we can't just expect women to just have a casual full-time job as a housemaker and a full-time job as a mother.
And also a full-time job as a, whatever she's doing, right? Like we have to start having different conversations or women like, it's just not going to work. So anytime I see that women's income is plateauing, a lot of times the very first place I look is, is this relationship protection. Because again, even if she's married to a dick like she might be saying, he's a douche.
I hate him. I wanna get [00:17:00] divorced, whatever. But like I can still tell if actually what we're playing out is you're trying to preserve your relationship because this is how strong, how strong that coding is. I guess the best way I could describe it is if you are a mom, you'll understand this. Or if you've witnessed mothers closely, if a child is mean to my kid, the like.
Sheer anger that takes over my body that I'm like, I don't care if you're a fucking kid. I'll punch you across this park. I wouldn't actually do that. But that feeling, it's this internal feeling you have to protect your child is so strong. And honestly, I do believe it's stronger than men.
I have a husband who's amazing, who's been a stay at home dad and is very, very connected to our children, but It is like a different energetic, like a girl broke my son's heart and I was like, fucking give me her name. Tell me where she lives. it's your cub.
It's just such a different energy. And so how can we know that to be true? 'cause you know that's true. [00:18:00] How can we know that to be true? But then we think that we build businesses the same way, men don't feel that same internal. Primal response to their cubs As women do so, like we cannot be giving the same fucking advice to women as we do to men in order to scale their companies.
It just makes no sense. So for a lot of women, expansion essentially equals threat, right? Even though we're like, no more money equals more opportunity and da, da, da, da. For most women, subconsciously, expansion equals a threat. essentially, for me, the biggest thing that I experienced in all of this was if I earn more money, the polarity in our relationship is totally going to collapse.
This is subconscious, but maybe it wasn't even fully subconscious. There was probably consciousness here too, because it was a shift. I did experience a shift I've done other podcast episodes on this, but like before I made $10,000 months in my business. I told you guys, my husband was a breadwinner, and I realized the [00:19:00] subconscious block from me making $10,000 months was actually that I was afraid he would quit his job, which he did, and I would lose my attraction to him because he wouldn't be a provider.
And I had never seen a man, I had never been loved by a man who didn't provide for me. And that's all the love I got from my dad. He just always would tell me like, I provide for you, therefore I love you. So I was unconsciously so scared to not have that provider. In my relationship and be like, oh my God, I'm gonna lose attraction.
And it's not that I lost attraction, but there was this element of relearning, right? Because I had never been in this relationship at this point without needing him, like actually needed him to survive, which a lot of women do. And now when I was like the breadwinner, I'm like, oh, I actually don't need you.
Which I feel like this is a larger female conversation that we're not having. this is why so many women are unmarried choosing to stay unmarried because they're dating [00:20:00] fucking who, what is even happening with men in the world? They're dating these dudes who've never been taught, unfortunately to be men, and they're like, it's actually just easier to be on my own.
Which, okay, I feel like I could caveat on this for 50 hours, but I do, I genuinely feel that men need women and women don't need men. Like I think that's the actual reality. And women choose men, like we get to choose our men. But for me, when I was making the shift, it was like I was actually going from needing to choosing.
And it was an interesting transition to say the least. I also unconsciously felt if I earned more, like my partner will become irrelevant again. And honestly, if I earn too much, like I might outgrow love and that's like wild. But the, these are all things that were genuinely underneath the surface.
So I went subconsciously from expansion equaling threat. To expansion equaling [00:21:00] devotion. I'm more devoted to my partner. I'm more devoted to myself. I'm more devoted to my health. I'm more devoted to my kids. I'm more devoted to my work. I'm more devoted to my clients. I also bring this out in that episode number four is.
Letting him lead essentially required me relinquishing this need to be superior, which I mentioned this. I listened back and I was like, oh girl. I said like a hundred times. This is so gross. Feel free to judge me. And honestly, I don't care if you judge me, that's fine. But I think so many more women are experiencing this than they wanna let on, which is, it's this energy.
It's like feel like a dick, but there's real times where I'm like, oh. Not that I'm better than someone, that's not the right word, but it is this energy of like superiority that my ego loves. Like my ego gets off on this energy of superiority and if I think of anything, my husband is actually my safe place.
And so there was this element of he is safe to experience [00:22:00] Superiority. over. And this was like the shadow. I secretly liked being quote unquote better than him in my mind. And it felt safe because he's safe. And I secretly liked it. I know, because then once he created this business, and you know, once I started to realize what was possible with this company and this model, I was like, well, shit, now I'm not better than him.
And I was like. That is just so gross that that's in there. But it was true. It was the shadow and it was truly , the movement from hierarchal love, which was survival again. I told you guys this, that was survival to me. Like when we talk about going from surviving to thriving, we can't just talk about here's how you make more money in your business.
You also need to understand why would you stay in a survival dynamic. So for me and for many women, being the breadwinner is your survival dynamic. You could make millions of dollars and still be so fucking in survival. It's wild. How do I know if any of this is resonating with you? [00:23:00] Hi. You're probably there.
For me it was like. Literally that is what I saw as survival. And I didn't wanna be the one without the upper hand, which none of this is conscious. I'm not thinking going to bed at night. I have the upper hand goodnight. Never. I was never thinking that consciously. But unconsciously, you have to understand whatever you were shown as children, that is what becomes safe to you.
And for me, what I was shown was one person makes the money, the other person doesn't, and the person who makes the money is the one who has the power. And the one who doesn't make the money is the one who like. Is treated like shit. I will take responsibility for that. There was times that I treated him like shit and made him feel like he was less than because I had quote unquote figured it out even though this man had laid down his ego for me to figure it out. Like he literally took on so much. With the children so I could figure this out because he saw my potential way before I could.
Hello, love. If you don't know already, Brandon is I don't know why, but he is just so much more [00:24:00] naturally, like better at loving than I am. It has been such a journey for me to accept his love to be regulated by his love, to know that it's not going anywhere. it's been real, I've literally had to learn , how does one love someone and not think about myself always first, which is just kind of like, yeah, a peek behind the curtain.
So when I think of like hierarchical love, when I think of the difference between that and like a devotional partnership, like we're both bringing things to the table. I don't really know. If you're listening and you're like, I'm a stay at home mom, and I like being a stay-at-home mom. I love that. For you, it also might be a season, and maybe this is just my bias from what I experienced growing up.
I just have never really met feel free to come in my dms and tell me you're one of them. I've just never really met a stay at home mom who's actually happy. Most of the moms I know that are stay at home moms. Are miserable and I've never met a stay at home mom. when her kids are grown, that [00:25:00] is happy that she doesn't have a thing of her own.
I just, maybe I'm a dick, but
I actually think that the healthiest women have things that they're creating because we're creators, so we create kids, and then after creating kids, if you or don't create kids, but like after you create kids, then you still have to create.
What I'm saying is we're we're designed to create new things, new life.
Whether that's new cities and new books and new crafts or new. Children like we are just creators. We're meant to create. And so what I have experienced, I could be biased, is that for a lot of women who are stay-at-home moms, they are not in creation energy except for when they're pregnant, which is why they love to be pregnant and making babies.
But they are not totally in creation energy a lot. They're like in survival energy. 'cause they're just like meeting needs. And then their kids get grown and they have lost touch with that part of themselves that knows how to create, right? So anyways, I'm a big fan of women creating through [00:26:00] their whole experience as mothers, which is, most people who are attracted to me are attracted to that concept.
I believe you can have it all without sacrificing something. Which I think why people get triggered by that is they think I'm saying, you have to sacrifice your health or you have to sacrifice your motherhood. I don't think so. I think you can create any reality. I'm just saying what I've gone off of.
I've mentored literally tens of thousands of mothers, so I feel like I can say that confidently. I had a whole entire nonprofit devoted to mothers, and there is a reason why I left it. So there's that. by the way, I just wanna say I value motherhood.
I think motherhood's amazing and we I love being a mom. And also I would go crazy if I was only a mom. Not that it's a bad thing to be only a mom. I just like, literally, personally speaking, I would be unfulfilled if that is what I was doing only with my life. But I also didn't grow up as a girl When people ask, what do you wanna be when you grow up? I didn't say a mom, I don't think, so take that with a grain of salt. You can totally disagree with [00:27:00] me. That's fine. Okay, moving on. a huge theme here too, energetically is control disguised as competent. Meaning like no one wants to have this conversation, but I will always have this conversation. When you start to go from survival to overflow, it doesn't matter what the number is, but you go from control to surrender, control to sovereignty. you understand that the way that you got to the success that you have is through the, it is through essentially the trauma identity, right?
The high performer. It's through controlling your reality, manipulating reality, controlling your timing, controlling your roles, controlling your identity. And like essentially it's because control equals safety. We all know this, right? Like any of us that come from traumatized past. We're trying to create the sensation or the illusion of control so that we can hopefully one day feel safe.
But I think we all know this, but in case we don't, control does not equal the sensation of safety, safety is something that we have to resource within, it's not gonna be based off of external [00:28:00] factors. This is why people would create so much success and still never feel that sense of safety and calm and peace in their system because we have to create that as we're creating the success.
Or else we'll just continue to stay on a hamster wheel of trying to , create these new realities that don't go anywhere. Yeah, I'm not gonna do that one. Ultimately, I wanna share this with you guys 'cause I think it's so wild. I noticed this. When I went to this last retreat of a mastermind I'm in, this is like a month ago, I went to this retreat and I did this breath work session and this couple came in, they let this breath work session and they were talking about, how birds make the V when they fly.
And the point bird of the v. Falls in the back so it like flies and leads and then it falls in the back and then another one leads and then it falls in the back and then another one leads and it falls in the back and this allows them to go further. It's kind of the whole entire pinnacle example of go together to go farther.
And you have to [00:29:00] understand if you have had a mentality, an unconscious reality, that your whole life, it was like, I am in this alone. it is all up to me how I was sharing. You think I have to lead at the front of this V for the rest of my life. No one is capable of taking over. Right? That's essentially the reality I was living in in the last year.
It just keeps being like, this is the work. Like this is the work is letting go of control. This is the work is letting him lead. This is the work is looking at the gross things that ideas and beliefs and things that I hold to be true that like maybe are. Not actually ultimately true for me anymore that have served me to get to a place that now I'm ready to let go of, you know?
And anyway, so we're doing this breath work session and he brings up that v in breath work. And it was like, where do you need to go in the back and like, who gets to lead? And for me it was my husband. And what's wild is I'm on this retreat and she [00:30:00] surprises us with. Uh, helicopter rides over Scottsdale.
So I'm on this retreat. I'm in this helicopter. I'm literally in the helicopter in the air and I go to text my husband to be like, yo, look where I am. And he texts me first and he says, we just got approved by the airport. So if you listen to the last thing, he started a private detailing company for jets and like ceramic coatings and things for private jets and small planes.
And. That exact moment. I'm in the air of a helicopter ride. I didn't even know I was going on. This is all just so wild to me. Small aircraft. He messages me to say, we just got approved for the airport. I'm like, this is crazy. That's so cool. And then also he was coming to Scottsdale the same time I was there they were flying out to Florida to go do their training for the coding.
And stuff. And it was cool 'cause we got to meet up one of the nights and it was like so cute and sexy because it was like, come see me at my hotel out front kind of thing. It was cute. And this was the next [00:31:00] day, like post seeing him the night before. He was like, I just wanna see you. And came and saw me that night and.
I am doing this breath work, and it was just so clear that like he gets to lead, look at what he's doing. Not only did he, oh, it's gonna make me cry.
He believed in me before I ever believed in myself. You guys, when I was a missionary overseas, we, we fell in love through email. I told you that. And there's an actual email. I should find it and post it where I wrote him. I was like always trying to break up with him 'cause avoid an attachment.
Hi. I live across the world as far as evenly possible away from you. And I'm trying to break up with you 'cause I'm scared because you're so stable. And I was saying how like I didn't think our values aligned because he really wanted to be rich. And I didn't, I like literally said there's never a future where I'm rich.
I will always be in service. I don't wanna be rich, I don't care about money. And he just called my bluff and he was like, yeah, no. You're destined for [00:32:00] millions. And I was just like, that's so annoying. You know, post my near death experience, I laid in bed for a year and I mentioned my mommy came and took care of me. My mom was like, really the person who showed up for me and my husband and I spent that whole year offline. So before that I was a personal brand. I've been a personal brand online since I was 19.
Like everything I did was showing up and serving online. And I had this year where I just was like, I don't fucking care about any of it. I just wanna be a part of my children's memories. I don't care if I'm on social media. I don't care if I'm online. I don't care if I have a business again.
I don't care about any of it. All I care about is just my health and being alive for my children. And he would always just be like, you'll come back. And you know, I think about. When I was building this business from the front seat of my freaking minivan using Lowe's internet, talking on my phone with shitty wifi teaching [00:33:00] classes and having one-on-one clients, and I'm building this business, and he never once complained about.
the investments I made, the way that I was stretching us, the way that I was like, hi, I just signed up for this other coaching thing. It was a million dollars. Like he never questioned it. He wasn't like, ah, you can't do this. He was just like, yeah, of course. Like it's all gonna work out He always would say, he always still says, you are always, and have always been our best investment. I will pour all of the money into you because you will give me tenfold. So fucking send that to your husbands girls. Because they need to think that way. He always believed in me like that, and I'm like, in this breath work and I'm just shown this image he's literally not only done all of that to get you here.
Supported me, however, I've needed to be supported. But then also he hears me say this is still not enough for me. Like I'm still feeling like I need you to have your own thing. I want you to have your own thing. I want you to also [00:34:00] financially contribute. I don't care if it's the same amount, but I need that.
Like I just came to terms with that. That is what I'm trying to share throughout these episodes is that might not be your truth if you are in this situation where you're trying to figure this out in your relationship. But for me, that was actually my truth. I tried to heal myself out of that and I was like, that's actually not true.
Like we are a power couple is the best way I can describe it. we are meant to build wealth together and I think that can look different for every single person. But for this season, I want you to do something. Like I also think there's more for you to experience. And he heard me and he said yes, and he figured it out and he's.
Going to go get this training to build this whole company just because I'm like, babe, can you do something as well? And so it just was like this gorgeous rewiring of letting him lead. Like girl, just fall back for a minute, fall back into the V and let him lead. Let him figure it out.
And I [00:35:00] think we just think that leadership means. From men. Like we think it means they're gonna make the most money, which could happen. But I don't think that's always true. I think we think that means they're like telling us what to do, which I also don't think is true. But for me it's like this gorgeous like service from him, but I have to let him do it for me.
Oh my God. I dunno if I've ever cried this much on a podcast.
I just think that so many high performing women, I can talk all day about how we'd love to be a victim to our reality, the truth is, is it's such a new concept for us to let a man love us and to let a man. Prove us wrong. Let a man serve us, you know? And anyways, so that just became like my realization as I'm doing this breath work.
I'm crying in the [00:36:00] breath work. I'm like, oh my god, Jenna it's right here. It's always been right here. Just let it be beautiful. Let it be amazing. Let it be what it is. Like just let him do it. And I was just really grateful in that moment. And what's so wild is like post this breath work, I feel like a different person, which girls I've done so much subconscious, rewiring, so much breath work, so many breath work sessions, so much freaking mushrooms and nothing really quite hit the way that this did because you know those moments where you do a rewiring and then you watch yourself do something and you're like.
Oh my God. It actually worked. I'm responding differently in this situation. I tell this story now, I think it's so funny. So like I come back from Scottsdale doing that and I we're like going to bed. Brandon's putting Effie to bed and he comes into the bed and I had made us both tea, like nighttime tea and he was like, oh my gosh, thank you.
Like you never do [00:37:00] that. Because I'm not gonna lie to you guys, I historically was the type of wife who I will go get myself a treat and like never even remember that I have a husband. I will be like, oh, I'm going to get myself a matcha and come home. And he would be like, oh, did you get me a coffee?
And I'm like, I forgot you existed. Like I would never think to do that. Meanwhile. He thinks about me every time he does anything. Like he goes to the Nike store, he always buys me something. He goes like out he, he brings me one home like he always thinks about me. And for me it's almost like a task. It's like a to-do list thing that I'm like, I have to remember that I have a husband while I'm out.
So I buy him something or get him something too so I can be a quote unquote good wife. And I didn't even think about it. I like made him a cup of tea. He's wow. And then we were watching Bridger and we like go to watch Bridger and. And I'm already like five episodes ahead 'cause he falls asleep.
Five minutes in, I'm like five episodes ahead and I'm like, oh, let's just go to where you left off, like to where you fell asleep. And he was [00:38:00] like, what? And he's are you okay? He's you have never done this before. What is going on? Like why are you, why, why are you going to where I left off?
And. He is like, what's happening? And I was like, oh, I don't know. And it's just been like so many of these little things, like not that I'm perfect or anything, but I just have done so many of these little things that I haven't even thought about. And I'm like, oh my God, the rewiring actually worked. And I think, here's the thing I'm trying to say when I'm saying that before my subconscious registered, it was a threat to do that because it registered survival was only thinking about myself and probably thinking about my kids, but even still like really thinking about myself. And now it's so strange, as I've done this rewiring work that I'm like, I actually genuinely think about him and not above myself. 'cause that makes me gag. I'm not trying to be the girl who's I think about everybody before myself, but it's no longer a threat to my survival, which makes sense.
If you hear my story with near death experience. I thought about [00:39:00] everybody above myself. And then I almost died, right? So clearly my subconscious was so scared of that. But now it just feels so good. It feels so easy. And it's like letting him lead didn't mean I'm like disappearing. Letting him lead didn't mean I'm sitting in a closet and being like, ah, like all I can contribute is doing the dishes, like letting him lead meant partnership.
Imagine that. Uh, do you ever think it's funny if you have a podcast and you record episodes and you're like, not me healing myself in lifetime while I'm processing this on a fucking podcast for the whole world to hear I hope that this resonates. If not, feel free to unsubscribe. I'm just kidding. Let me know what you think.
Send me a dm. Let me know what resonates with you. And ultimately, like what I see for you is that same image of how can you. Fall back for a minute. How can you let him figure it out? [00:40:00] How can you say what your needs actually are? How can you stop gaslighting yourself out of the needs that you actually have?
How can you become a partnership rather than a power dynamic? I love you so much. Thank you for being here. Have a great rest of your day.
Outro: Remember, overflow isn't something that you chase. It's something that you become available for, and you all know that I love when you pop into my dms, post an episode, come and share with me what you loved about it. Leave a review for me. That helps so much on the podcast side. Share this to your profiles and thank you ultimately for being here, being a part of this community, being a part of this transmission and reality shift for.
Us for my children, for your children, and for generations to come. I love you all.
